Thursday, November 7, 2013

My Own Personal Decisions (A WLS Post)

Over the weekend, Jason and I made the decision to stop drinking.  This decision was a long time coming.  But after some events of the past week, and a heart to heart with my hubs we decided it was the best decision for us.  

Before I had Weight Loss Surgery, I enjoyed drinking.  I was a social drinker, out with my friends.  But almost always I would never stop at a glass of wine, or 1 beer, or 1 margarita.  It was always to the point that I was challenging someone shot for shot.  I liked the person and the courage that I had when I would drink.  

I waited almost the recommended 1 year wait time for drinking after my surgery.  But I noticed that the effects of drinking came on much quicker than what it did when I was almost 400lbs. and not only that but I would get sober much much quicker.  Hence making me drink more. and more. and more.  

When we were in California, it's pretty sad to say that I spent most of the time drunk.  I can tell you that I never drove, while I was drunk, and most of the time we were at a friends house and we could always walk back, or we stayed until one of us was sober enough to drive home (Usually many hours passed)

Saturday, I started drinking. And it dawned on me that I was drinking for the wrong reason.  I was drinking because I was stressed, because I was sad and unhappy in our current situation.  All in all, I didn't enjoy it.  I didn't enjoy the fuzzy feeling that was going on in my head.  And I got up and dumped my drink out.  While I hate wasting money, I got past that and was thinking more about the money that I would save on those nights where I go and work out my stress at the gym instead of drinking a beer.  Or a glass of wine, or a Strawberry Concoction that tastes just like a starburst.  

I asked Jason to make this change with me.  And while I would be ok if he chooses not to do this with me, he agreed.  I'm thankful that I'm not going at this alone.  And this week was probably the hardest.  I'm going through some rough challenges at work, and it would have been nice to come home and relax and drink a beer and to kind of forget about stuff.  Instead, I took a shower and went to bed.  Or last night, I colored my hair.  I'm keeping busy and not thinking about it.  

All cross addictions aside.  I'm living proof that this exists, I joked before thinking that it wouldn't happen to me.  But it did.  I don't want to full on say that I have an alcohol addiction, but I hear that the first sign of an addiction is denial.  I had surgery to get healthy, and maybe without all of these empty calories I'll be well on my way to get back to that.  

I highly suggest if you're a Weight Loss Surgery patient and experiencing some of these things, you reach out to a support group, friends, me or research this on your own...

One great person to go to for research is Melting Mama...Please see this post

With love, xoxo

1 comment:

Katie said...

I am so very proud of you and behind you every step of the way xoxo <3